My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married for 12 of those years this coming April (and I'm only 33). So many would question what I know about being single or lonely. To start, being single and lonely are not one in the same because loneliness can exist when in a relationship. But that's not what this post is about.
For those young singles who desire #marriage one day I urge you to use your #singleness to your advantage. I had my first child at 20, married at 21, and my second child came at the age of 22. My life was consumed with trying to learn to be a wife and mother while many others were trying to navigate college life. I was consumed by my roles. So much so, that when my husband and #kids were gone I didn't know how to handle it. I would find myself doing things just to keep busy to avoid the depression from settling in. I couldn't be content with myself.
I was forced to learn how to be content when my husband and I went through a 2 year #separation. During this time my parents were heavily involved with helping to raise our daughters while I worked and went to school full time. Those 2 years were some of the darkest moments of my life. I was frustrated, angry, and hurt. God was the last person on my mind and I did what I needed to avoid being alone. I refused to work through my feelings and instead tried to ignore and bury them. I wish I could determine the turning point when I decided to get myself together, but it wasn't just one moment. A series of events took place where I finally turned to my foundation...God.
Once God had my attention, it was apparent why He needed to get me by myself. (I'm a firm believer that God will do whatever necessary to get our attention if it means saving us! And I'm grateful for it.) The last year of my separation was the year God reminded me that I was predestined to be a wife and mother, but IT DIDN'T STOP THERE. I was designed in His image and likeness destined for #greatness! I was able to discover, Juanita. I no longer needed to define myself by the roles or titles I had, but instead by the characteristics and talents God deposited in me.
My marriage is better today because God had used my separation to teach us lessons we couldn't otherwise learn. One very important lesson we learned was how our #purpose and #destiny aligned and complimented one another. (NOTE: when you know your purpose and become secure in it, it can help to identify the person right for you because ultimately your purposes will align and compliment each other.)
When we use our singleness to develop our relationship with God, learn who He created us to be, and determine our purpose and destiny we can then be better prepared for the other roles life gives us. Our lives will be fuller because of it. #itstimetoglow
Jeremiah 29:11 (NRSV) - For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.